Map Review of assault

Map review of Assault

by dunkelschwamm | July 28, 2022 | 3271 characters

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Assault is a pretty dumb fun not very pretty map. In harsher words, assault is a fun map that is dumb and kinda ugly. But, within, I think there's a lot of fun to be had.

The main conceit of assault is that the players assault a base that infinitely vomits grunts, and is heavily fortified with turrets, rescue a scientist with more HP and resurrections than Jesus, and take him back to base. To aid in accomplishing this, players are given a ton of weapons, lots of supplies along the way, some friendly Barneys, and a bunch of mounted turrets. The mounted turrets are great, gibbing grunts left and right with heavy bullets or explosives- and neither my teammate nor I got stuck in one! It's a pretty unbalanced affair, very skewed in the players' favor, but it's incredible that it pulls that off while still endlessly belching grunts at us. It's fun shredding through the canon fodder.

So fun that I wasn't really noticing the nondescript guard towers, z-fighting in the chunky doors when they slide into the floor, the flatly lit enemy base interior, the road segment in the middle of the map which terminates shortly at both ends in concrete wall, the floating medkits, and the flat-out ugly spawn area. There's also a sandbag hut which my teammate mentioned makes no sense but I thought it was too cute for me to list it as a negative here. I am team sandbag hut. Still, this map could have played well AND looked nice, but as far as I'm concerned it only really accomplishes the prior and it only does that conditional on how much fun you find it to gib lots of grunts at once.

When it's time to rescue the scientist, his demeanor mixed with the map layout and how much health he's given makes the escort job a non-issue. You can walk him straight through active battle and he'll be fine. You might think I'm saying this trivializes the escort, but fuck escort missions. How are you going to make this fun while walking him out of a base that it constantly belching out grunts if he dies at the drop of a hat? Walking the scientist home was just fine with me.

If you're looking for an action map to easily dominate with a friend, try this map! If you want to put this on an action server I think it'd be a great fun excursion. I recommend for cheap thrills.


  • Great turrets. A+ turrets
  • I liked having the equipment to deal with so many hgrunts at once and then have so many hgrunts to deal with at all times
  • The mission is so simple, straight forward, and charitably presented that I didn't trust a single step of it- but it really is just intuitive and made to not be annoying
  • Sandbag hut gets to be a pro because I'm trying to boost its self esteem. I am team sandbag hut.
  • Best escort mission ever


  • The map's pretty ugly, and the visual design is outright thoughtless
  • There's a big barely visible indestructible window in the enemy base that's poorly designed and makes that whole arena a weird wonky affair
  • Map's kind of a pushover, frankly
Score: 6.8 / 10
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